Hello everyone,

I'd like to hear what you think about my poem. The Birth of Kainu is a poem that tells the beginning of the world of Fargoer, my series of fantasy short stories. The style and metric of the poem is Trochee in the original language (Finnish), while the English version is rhymed poetry.

"Before a time, before a place
Before the man and beast
The endless sea, so dark and vast
Reached round from west to east

From the depths now grew a cliff
A cliff so big and white
Rising from the shoreless sea
A shard in ocean's might

All alone were sea and stone
Until the Seagull came
A bird of sea, a bird of stone
Without a home or name

He found the stone, he found the cliff
He laid his nest in peace
At last he thought, the time has come
The endless search will cease

But bitter was the lonely sea
Its hate flowed cold and dark
It raised a wave from murky depths
Destruction at its mark

There was the rock, there was the nest
All torn down with the wave
It blew the nest and blew the bird
Took eggs to watery grave

The bird of sea, the bird of stone
Rose high on wings of gold
He opened up his beak and let
His magic song unfold

His golden eggs all torn and wet
Transformed under his might
To earth and sky he changed them all
To shine he made sun bright

All of this and so much more
He built with words said true
The land of life, the land of death
All this his magic grew

There was the world, so beautiful
So beautiful but bare
He took the last of golden eggs
Caressed it with much care

From it he drew the best of all
His work of finest birth
A beast, a bird, a fish in sea
All beings on this earth

Then he did it all again
For we all need a mate
But when he got to humankind
Wise bird could see our fate

“You shall walk this earth alone
I shall not give a bride
You'll bring forth the great turmoil
That lasts till all have died”

So it was the bitter man
Went on his way alone
Fishing in the empty sea
With endless wail and groan

“Oh I am the poorest soul
Without a love or care
Fishes rotting in the sun
And no one here to share"

Suddenly from darkest sea
An eerie voice did say
"I can make a woman too
But there's a price to pay

She will be fine, she will be fair
She is what you have craved
She has a mind of sharpened blade
She has your soul enslaved

She cooks your fish, she makes you strong
She burns your love as fuel
You shall do everything she wants
Your people, she will rule

Shall I give this woman then
Creature of highest might
To carry and give birth to you
To be your brightest light?”

Man was eager to respond
"I want her as my own
Unite us now, o eerie voice
I loathe to live alone"

In the sea the work was done
Under the depths unknown
Flesh was made from fishy hides
Skin from grasses sown
From the stream the blood was boiled
Scales so tough to bone

Girl of highest might was done
To carry and give birth
Quivers through man's world would run
She was her payment's worth

So begins the tale of the people known as the Kainu"

I'm very interested in hearing your thoughts and opinions.

-Petteri Hannila-